A Day at the Beach
“No, that’s not how it’s done.”
“I’m trying! Like this?”
“Hold on. Let me show you. First of all, the most important thing is the stone. Set yourself up for success. Give yourself a chance.”
“Alright, Confucius.”
“Confucius say, common sense is not very common. The second consideration should be the grip. Hold it like this.”
“Ok. Like this?”
“Yes, secure it in your hand.”
“The next is step is to be patient. Wait for the waves to settle…then throw it with force at a downward angle….one, two, three, fu-five-siiiix, seven. Like that. Now you try.”
“Cool, I’ll give it a go. Don’t laugh!”
“Oh f — k!”
“Waaaaaaah.”
“Are they ok?”
“I dunno, you’re the one who hit the kid!”
“Oh no! Ok, I’m gonna check on him.”
“I’ll bring…the water.”
“Oh shoot, they’re bleeding. Help me. Please find help!”
“Aw fuck! Is there a medic! Does anyone know first aid? Lifeguards?”
“What happened. A kid accidentally got hit by a stone, big gash above the eye.”
“Oh, what a shame. Luckily I’m a -”
“My BABY! What happened?”
“Sorry! We were throwing rocks, skipping, at the ocean. The kid ran, grazed him. He’s awake and moving, and everything is fine, we’re holding it down, just a bit of blood.”
“Oh sweetie, are you ok?”
“Yeah, but it hurts.”
“You’ll be ok.”
“Hey, step aside, step aside. I’m a doctor, I’ll check on them.”
“Oh, that can’t be good. Tilt your head for me please?”
“Hmm. I see. Unfortunate.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Do you want the bad news or the good news?”
“Oh no, the bad?”
“Well, the bad news is that I am unable to properly diagnose your child's injury. I am a chiropractor, and an injury above the eye is as far from my wheelhouse as you can imagine. Unfortunately, I cannot help here.”
“what?”
“I know, it’s a shame. I really feel for the kid, if only there was more I could do for him. His posture is great, but his eye not so much. Sometimes the hands we’re drawn are the ones we must play.
“Um, you said you had good news and bad news, what about the good news?”
“Well, the good news is, the little rascal will survive. Back in my day, when I was their age, I fought in the war. I lost many friends in the war.
(Singing)
Oooh the war.
The bloody waaaaar.
I remember it like it was yesterdaaaay.
OoOOOOoooh the war.
What a time to be alive.”
